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23517
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Damien Daville, Producer
LA Judge, Editor
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Interview with LA Judge
Interviewd by Damien Daville
I am stepping in to do the interview for this month's Issue of the VC Magazine. The woman I will be interviewing
is the Editor of the VC Magazine and usually interviews the people we showcase here. As Producer of the VC Magazine, I have decided to step in and interview a hardworking and dedicated woman, LA Judge. As I have mentioned, LA is the Editor of the VC Magazine, but she also does much more. Since joining the Vampire Church Council in 04/24/2003, she has been the Administrator of the Vampire Church. Her duties include overseeing the online programs of the Vampire Church. LA is also active in the community, is the manager of the Mid Atlantic Vampire Association, and runs one of the Offline Offices of the Vampire Church in the state of Maryland. This month I will attempt to get to know this hard working woman a little more.
Damien: LA, welcome to the interview's seat for this month's issue of the VC Magazine. You have mentioned as I recall to me in the past that you came to the online community looking at online vampire groups with the idea of giving back to the vampire community. You have also said that after looking at several groups and organizations, you decided on the Vampire Church as the Organization you decided to join. Take us back to this time and tell us why and how you came to this decision.
LA.: Greetings Damien. This should be fun – seeing you with the shoe on the other food here. Funny, with the experience I have gained doing interviews over the past year, this is a rare time when I may have the vantage with you - lol. Good question though – why your group? I had the fortunate advantage of growing-up as a member of a real vampire community so I had some pretty fixed ideas on what was real vampirism when I decided to step into the online community. I had learned by real life experience – not the internet. I actually read dozens of websites. I looked at what they were saying – how they were saying it – who the community founders and leaders were. I knew that when I stepped back into the community that I was going to stir things up a bit. I wanted to make sure that the community I joined and I understood vampirism on the same level. And I wanted to make sure the community leaders were moral individuals in whom I could trust. Quiet frankly, I was not sure your site was it. But something there struck me as true. So unlike the numerous others, I kept coming back to it and I did my homework on the VC. I even looked at what its detractors had to say. It took me about a year before I decided that this was the place for me. Slow? Umm maybe. But I don’t do things half way, so I wanted to make sure it was a commitment I could keep.
Damien: You are now a member of the Vampire Church Council and the VC Grievance Council. You have put in a lot of time and energy helping the leadership of the Vampire Church. Tell us what made you decide to become active in the leadership of the Vampire Church and why?
LA.: Well like I said, I don’t do things half way. I believe in this community – and in the mission of the VC, which is to act as a haven and promote the truth about real vampirism. There is an incredible amount of work that just goes into the nuts and bolts of keeping a website up & edited and running an organization. I am not sure that is something everyone understands. It’s not all guts and glory, most of the necessary work is boring & mundane, but very vital to things running smoothly. I realized that could help by putting my business skills to work as well as my knowledge of real vampirism. At the time I look over the Administrator role, the VC was drowning in mundane work, my initial goal was just to catch up on some of those things. After that, just to help maintain a balance so it didn’t become overwhelming. I don’t really have the desire to start my own group or publish my own website or whatever. I mean who needs another idiot little real vampire site or discussion group? The VC is already doing a splendid job of presenting everything I believe in – so my time and talents go here. This is where my heart and soul have come to call home.
Damien: Going back in time here, tell us about your vampirism and how it has changed over the years.
LA.: Ooo that is going to dust off some cobwebs. Have you been practicing this interviewing stuff? My vampirism has changed completely several times over since I first came to the realization I was affected with vampirism. I was a teen struggling with puberty, self-identity and all that other crap that kids go through. I was also struggling with low energy. So much that I was always falling asleep in school, etc. – it was a real problem. I had already been diagnosed with chronic mononucleosis, only in the days before it was realized that mono was a virus. Obviously, I just didn’t respond to the treatment. I was fortunate enough to be working part-time at a place where a member of the local vampire community recognized I was struggling with energy. It was thru that group I was introduced to blood feeding. But even with that, my energy levels yo-yoed around. It took me years to understand energy was not just blood because that was not part of the local knowledge base. When I found a balance point, it was with negative and elemental energy. I was in the thick of the emerging puck rock scene at the time – it gushed with negative energy and that was perfect for me. Obviously, my energy needs have changed since then. I have aged and adapted. That raw of energy would overwhelm me today. I have really come to understand that as I age, my energy needs change and that I have to be open to the various types of energies around me. Every vampire has to deal with constantly changing energy needs. Not just as they age, but seasonally and even on a smaller microcosm. We are so affected by the constant energy swirl around us that we need to adapt to on a daily, even hourly basis. These days, I find myself drifting towards the more elemental energies. But it is winter and I don’t need as hyped-up energy as I do at other times of the year. So, in that respect my energy need is cyclical depending on the time of year. I am also finding that as I get away from the constant chaotic energy, with which I have lived for years, that my need for negative energy has lessened. I don’t need such strong energies to counter act and balance the chaotic input. Gee – so I guess in my old age I am mellowing. Who would figure that!
Damien: You have mentioned to me that you are college educated with a master’s degree in fine arts. You also have worked as a painter and as a graphics designer with some work in photography. Tell us a little about your passion for the arts, and what you enjoy the most.
LA.: Yea guess I am the classic over educated artist. I actually have a whole string of degrees after my name as well as post graduate work toward my PhD(s). I have been involved in the arts community longer than I have been involved with the vampire one I am hardwired for color, pattern, and graphic symbolism. These things are more than a passion - they are pure to me. They are part of me. I experience color & pattern on an energy level. I become the art. Here again I was fortunate to live in a big city where I could explore my art passion very early on. I am a great believer in mentoring. By the time I was nine I was formally studying art at a classic institute. I had the chance to study photography with some of the great photographers of the last century, but they didn’t just teach photography. They taught a way of life, how to see things, how to approach design on many levels, how to live. And that is what true art is – it goes beyond just color & composition. It is being. I have works in a number of major collections including a couple big museums. I have worked as a high-end graphic designer, a college professor, photographer, etc. But my real passion is just painting. I am at my absolute happiest when I am alone in the room with a blank canvas. I loose track of time, and interact with the emerging painting on a personal energy level. This is why too vampires can take energy from works of art. Color is pure energy on a physical level – so is pattern. They both vibrate. That is basic physics. In the act of creating a work, the artist imparts their emotional passion, their energy and bonds it with the color and pattern of an image. And that is what the viewer sees and experiences. It is pure passion – pure energy. And that is what drives me. Many people cry in the presence of great art to which they connect. They tear-up. Not because it is a good painting or image, they are simply overwhelmed by the energy of the work and that is how they react. When I am painting, I am at my finest. Time stand still to me. I can feel the energy interaction I am having with the work – and I keep at it until that painting reaches a point where I am comfortable with the exact energy within. It is a real problem for me these days, I don’t get to paint as much as I physically need to – that is something that I hope to change dramatically within this next year. I need to get back to my artistic roots.
Damien: You have also mentioned that in younger years you were directly active in the community with the subject of vampirism. Would you tell us a little more about what you did during that time in your life?
LA.: I was a teen when I was first adopted in to the local vampire community. And like any kid what I constantly needed was a kick in the ass. I guess the old African adage of “it takes a village to raise a child” is true. The offline world was much different that what it is today and a lifetime away from what the internet accomplishes. Then, the older members of the community passed on their knowledge. It was the way it was done for generations. I entered the community in the early 1970’s – the older members there had been there since the 1950’s and they remembered older members that had preceded them that had entered the community in the 1920’s & 30’s and so on. The community was like a big family. They were your best friends, acted like your older siblings or surrogate parents. You were mentored, not just in vampirism, but in morals – in life. We were there for each other too. There were deep bonds. I could count on these people. We helped each other in daily life – fixed each other’s cars, went to dinner at each other’s homes, baby sat each other’s kids, you name it. We were a real community. And it wasn’t just limited to real vampires, although that is what was at its center. It was an extended family. Friends, spouses, lovers, kids, and a number of members of the arts & Pagan community as well. Energy was at the center of all our interest and it bonded us together. When we had the opportunity to meet someone from another vampire community outside of our own it was always very exciting. We would have a feast or party and all get together and exchange knowledge. That way, both communities benefited by an informational exchange. As I grew up in that community, I became one of the people that mentored the younger members. That was expected and the way it was always done. I was nearly 30 when I moved away from that community. And quite frankly, I went into a type of culture shock when I found there was nothing for a community in the big city to which I moved. I spent the first few years traveling the over 400 miles back and forth whenever I could to spend time there. I stopped doing that around 1990 and kept to myself for a long while. But I really had that need to be part of an extended family.
Damien: What do you see that you hope to accomplish with your work in the Vampire Church? And what do you see the Vampire Church giving back to you.
LA.: Like I just was saying I had a needed to be part of a vampire community – to me it was a missing part of my life. So that is what drove me into looking for ways to reconnect and why I sought out the online community. I felt a debt to the community that had raised me, and as others before me had done, I knew I needed to pass on my knowledge and make it available to the next generation. For me being part of this community completes my circle of life. I have grown and I am now giving back what was given to me in the hope and knowledge that someone will pass it on. I guess that is both what I want to accomplish and what I get from being part of the VC. I want to do everything that I can to make sure the people that need it get the information about real vampirism and that is very fulfilling to me. I know that if the vampire community had not been there for me when I needed it I would not be the person I am today. I want to make sure that it is there for others in the same way.
Damien: Going on to the VC Magazine. You were already the Administrator of the Vampire Church a year ago when you stepped in to offer your energy and time to the VC Magazine. Why did you choose to join the Staff of the VC Magazine when you certainly had other responsibilities in the Vampire Church?
LA.: Well I had already been contributing to the Newszine, as it was called then, for sometime. I initially stepped forward and offered my skills as a graphic designer because that is what was needed and it was something that I could easily give time & effort wise. I totally understand that the internet is a visual medium and felt that I could help the Newzine towards that end. As I did, I worked with the Editor of that time as she was having both problems with the actual text editing and finding time to actually accomplish whet she needed to achieve. When I first took over as Editor, it was only on a temporary basis – I figured I would do it a month or so until someone else could be found with the combination of necessary skills. As Editor, you have to be a jack-of-all-trades and I was not sure I had it. You need to be visual, literate, have good grammar & editing skills, know basic html code, and manage people & resources all within the constraints of a deadline. I had the skills, I just had never put them together in that combination and I wasn’t sure I had the time to devote as well. I didn’t want to give up my role as VC Administrator and didn’t know if could do both. I guess I almost still see myself as the “temporary” editor, but this is also a role I have come to love. I get to express a degree of creativity here and use my technical skills as I do nowhere else. And that to me, as an educated artist, is very cool.
Damien: Now as Editor of the VC Magazine, where would you like to see the VC Magazine go from here?
LA.: Fair enough. I guess every editor is asked that question at some point. *Lol * There are a couple of things that I would like to achieve on several different levels. Not only would I like VC Magazine to continue its role as a sourcebook on real vampirism, I like to see it further explore its place in the dark culture communities as a vehicle for creative expression. The Vampire Church and VC Magazine have both long been associated with supporting the literary and visual arts. I’d like to see that expression grow. VC Magazine is more that just a vampire magazine. It’s about dark culture and it is in that role I would like to see it gain better acceptance. It is getting there. VC Magazine is getting to have a regular group of talented writers and artists as contributors but I am just impatient.
The other goal I have for the ‘zine is distribution. I would love to see it reaching more people. For that it needs also start being self-sufficient and drawing in a few advertising dollars. Long term I guess I would love to see VC Magazine become a hard copy publication, but I am really comfortable with its role as a web based publication.
Damien: I know that you have a young son to raise, and that he has special needs. It must be difficult to put in the work you do for the Vampire Church and have a family, how do you cope with both and manage your time so well?
LA.: Balancing life and family is always a delicate act. Being a parent is the hardest job on the planet. I’d claim I was totally addicted to caffeine, hence my no decaf tag, but ya know that is not even true anymore. I have learned to budget time & resources and maximize my efforts. I am also the queen of multitasking. I have to be. I may be fixing dinner, answering email, supervising homework, and doing housework all at the same time. It is a matter of setting small accomplishable goals. And a matter of “lowering” expectations to a realistic level. I am intelligent enough that I have a tendency to be a perfectionist on most things and can reach that level if given enough time. But that perfection level takes a lot of time, effort and energy. I have learned to choose my battles so to speak. I choose where to spend my time for maximum results. As a result, I am more satisfied with the things I do achieve. I also have learned the value of having the proper tools. *Lol wait? Maybe that is my profession a stagehand talking. But really, why fumble around when ya don’t have to? The right tool may be a simple one, but it too saves lots of time, effort and energy.
My wild child son is the center of my universe and the most important thing in the world to me is spending time with him. Even though it is just he and I for family, I hate it when the only time we have together is lost in the mundane little necessary things of daily life. I schedule “special events” with him. It might be as simple as having a tea party for lunch, going to a movie or taking a walk in the park. But he knows that during one of our special times I am 100% his – no cell phones – no nothing. Here again, I kind of had to lower my expectations. I have learned I don’t have to be supermom 100% of the time. The result is I am happier and less stressed and by maximizing my effort I get more satisfaction out of the special times we do have.
Damien: Where do you see yourself with the Vampire Church and the vampire community in the next five years?
LA.: Older – grayer – a bit more stubborn. Lol. But I see myself here for as long as I can be. After that, I figure that I will be old enough that it will be my time to lurk in the shadows. The vampire community as a whole needs to build the next generation of leadership. To me, I see that there is kind of a generational gap right now. Because of the mixing of fact and fiction that happened in the 80’s & 90’s as mass media / marketing and the internet influenced the real community en masse, there has been a loss of small information and a homogenization of the pop-cultural myth and fiction into fact. It is a microcosm of what happen to US culture as a whole during that time. We went from a nation of rich cultural local regions and traditions into one homogenized and influenced by mass media, mass marketing and big corporate money. The local ma-pa burger place was replaced by a plastic corporate giant with a clown at the top, interested in only making money with no interest in the local community or culture. Unfortunately the 30-something generation embraced that, so for anyone younger that is all they have known growing-up. The knowledge is still there, but graying and there needs to be a lot of damage control done from the after affects of the media / marketing impact. Look at how many vampire sites you can google - hundreds in just a few moments. But take a real look at those sites and you see what I mean. There is the stereotypical dark Halloween-esque imagery. The requisite use of red and black, a few spinning skulls or ankh’s and the drippy Blood of Dracula type font. The content is just as bad. They are all fixated on blood – fun vampires have - fangs – the “beast” and “feeding”. Some even go further and take this to into a religion, have vampire “tests” or tell you how to be “turned”. Very, very few are getting down to real issues and fewer yet understand and incorporate the knowledge of bio-energy and physics that was commonly discussed a generation ago. So I guess in that respect, I will be around a while mostly to kind of to do what I can for damage control and make sure what I learned from my mentors a generation ago is passed on.
Damien: I know that as founder of the Vampire Church and the VC Magazine, your work and contribution to the Vampire Church and this Magazine have enabled me to do much for the community in educating the public about vampirism and helping those with questions. My hope is that you never get tired, however, we all know that this work can be draining. Has it affected your vampirism in any way?
LA.: Wow thank you Damien. That is a hell of a compliment and I appreciate that my efforts can help you further your work. And yes, as I am sure as you too know, the effort it takes can at times be overwhelming and under appreciated. It can be very draining – on the flipside though, it can also be very rewarding. I am not doing this for ego and I know you are not either – so there is no gain there. I guess though where it has affected my vampirism is more on my empathic side. Although all vampires can sense empathy to a degree, I have turned off that information for so many years that I am about empathic as a stone. Slowly, through my work here, I am finding I need those skills. I need to sense and use that information in my relations with others. Over the net, I don’t have the visual clues that use in daily life to make up for my lack of empathy skills. So I find that I am having to re-learn and rebuild those missing skills. Lol. I guess in that respect you can teach an old dog new tricks. The benefit long-term will be my growth as an individual. And will get more out of the few personal relationships I do have because of my ability to connect with them on an empathic level. Gee… that is something that I never thought would happen.
Damien: At this time, I want to thank you for all the work that you do. I am fortunate to have an associate like you with which to work. Can you share with us any future plans you might have in your life?
LA.: Damn that is a hell of a big question – life plans. And again thank you. Hummm…. Well for the longest time I didn’t really have any goals or plans in life. I lived in a war-zone kind of survival mentality due to the horribly abusive relationship I was in. Only I didn’t see it was abusive because I was in the middle of it – nor did I see how that was affecting me. But with that ended, moving and getting on with life I do have a few plans and goals. Short-term is just some much-needed stability. I have moved, I am divorcing, switched jobs, I may move again. I need a little breathing room. Long-term though, I want to accomplish some things that are personal to me. I want my relationship with my son always to be wonderful and at the forefront. That comes first. Also, I want to get back to my artist roots and again start painting on a regular basis. I figure right now I am about 200 paintings behind – I have a lot of creative work I want to accomplish. And, I guess my last goal is a little selfish. I want the chance to be in a loving relationship that is beneficial to both parties. Not married – I am way beyond that. Besides, I like living alone. But a relationship that is fun and filled with trust and respect – common interests too, that type of thing. It is something that I have never had and sadly, at my age probably something that I will never know. Also too, it is not something that I am actively pursuing - I don’t go looking. So the guy would practically have to knock me on the head to get my attention. Realistically, I figure that is just not going to happen.
Damien: LA, I want to thank you for taking the time to answer all these questions I have thrown at you. I know you are as busy a person as I am.
LA.: Actually Damien, thank you. This has been a rare time when I have gotten to sit down for a bit and discuss some things that are important to me with a fellow intellectual and with someone for whom I hold the utmost respect. It has been a pure pleasure. So now I guess, it is back to work for both of us.
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